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as much as our fanfiction scares me, i love to let you know really how much i do love you. there are so many things i love about you, from your body, to your spirt, to your brains and the absolute kindness in your heart. sure, you have the bad days when i know to stay away, but i have those days too, everyone thinks you are the diva of the band but i have never met a more beautiful soul in my life than you. i knew from the very instant we first shook hands, young and tender little things, your home life so horrible, and my parents getting worse by the day as they realized how often i was skipping school. it became my goal to get you to let me in, to get you to come to me when you needed me, to be able to feel this fierce love you reserved for only people like spencer. i didn't understand it really, but i knew i wanted it, craved it, and i knew something was off when i came home from a late night with you and the band -- i couldn't get you out of my head until i ground my hips into my palm so hard it had hurt. when you started to really accept me, to show me your secret smiles and to start to figure out the things that made me happy, my heart always beat so hard i thought it would shatter my ribcage. you picked me up from work those late nights when it was too dark to walk home safely, you held my hands while my parents screamed at me through your cell phone of all things to get home and stop screwing up my life, you started to show me your notebooks full of lyrics and really started to let me see the real you. and i loved everything about you, i was infatuated, intoxicated by the very scent of your shampoo, crazy with lust for what your palm would feel like rutting hard against my most intimate place. i wanted more. |